[Chapter 18: Thrill]

I sit up, gasping and hugging my body. Sobs come quickly, attacking my body and making me hiccup. My skin is cold and clammy, goosebumps raised everywhere. That was some nightmare.

    Jaeger sits up almost as quickly as I had, gently grabbing my arms before checking me over. "Shh, what's wrong?" His tone is worried.

    All I can do is sit there and shake and sob. Shake and sob and hiccup. He whips the covers off my legs and gently pulls me into him. His muscles are tense, as if he's trying not to break my weak body.

    "Shh, Rue, you're okay. It's okay, I'm here." He brushes my hair behind my ear over and over again, and it soothes me.

    He smells like cinnamon and cologne, my face pressed to his bare chest. His skin is burning hot, but it feels good against my cold arms and face. I, too, start burning up after I realize our proximity. I squirm a little only to end up closer to his face. He turns into me, his chin touching my forehead.

    I cough, "What time is it?"

    "Somewhere around three in the morning." There's no clock, that I can see, for him to check.

    Even though the room is dark but comfortably warm, I can tell he's trying to look at me. I can feel his hot breath on my face, and it smells like the mouthwash he used hours ago.

    I wonder what it would be like to date someone like Jaeger. Or maybe even him himself. I don't think I could do it. He's too mysterious. I hardly know anything about him, and I feel like he's hiding something. In fact, I'd place a bet that he's hiding something.

    But I suppose that's the thrill, isn't it? The thrill of not knowing what you're getting into. It's an adrenaline high, really. Humans fear the unknown, but it's also something that thrills them. Curiosity. Thrill.

    I'm the kind of person who would rather regret doing something, than wishing I'd tried it. The whole point in living is, well, to live. Living means doing something unpredictable, but learning from the outcome. I'd rather regret kissing Jaeger than wishing I'd done it.

    But I won't kiss him. Not yet. Not until I'm back to normal and things calm down, if they ever do. And hell, maybe he'll even kiss me before I get the chance to kiss him first. Shit, why am I even worrying about it?

    I'll just act like I'm not interested in him. We'll see where it goes from there. I'm such a girl. I feel like I'm in middle school again, trying to play hard to get.

    My stomach growls, "Jaeger... I have a weird question."

    After a couple moments, he shifts and exhales, "Shoot."

    "Can we make s'mores?"My voice is small, hoping I don't get rejected such a small request.

    Jaeger chuckles, his warm chest shaking. "Sure, Rue. Why not?"

     

    I take a large bite out of my s'more and stare at the stars through the oak tree's branches and leaves. They shine brightly--something I could never see while living in town--above Jaeger's property a couple miles outside of town. Just far enough so that kids aren't running around his yard, but close enough that we could ride bikes to the store if we wanted to.

    For some reason, I can't help but feel that Olivia is looking up and seeing the same thing I see. Or maybe it's Tate. Or maybe both. That's the thing about stars; no matter where you are, you still feel like you see the same thing everyone everywhere else sees. That's something that connects people: the feeling of seeing the same thing.

    The fire crackles in the expensive fire pit, spitting in different directions. Jaeger turns a marshmallow on a skewer, burning it. I'm not one for burnt 'mallows.

    "Jaeger?" I finish my s'more and pull the blanket Jaeger grabbed me closer to my body. I'm laying on a three-person swing by myself, slowly rocking back and forth.

    "Hm?" He's preoccupied with the s'more he is trying to put together.

    "Where do you think Olivia and Tate are?" I ask calmly, watching ashes float up into the air, but my voice cracks at the end up my sentence.

     He looks at me, coughs roughly and takes a drink of his hot chocolate. I can feel him looking at me over the fire, probably calculating my expression. He inhales roughly before answering, "I'm not sure, Rue. It's hard to say."

    "You don't think they're going through the same thing I went through, do you?" I whisper, my heart leaping into my throat at the thought of Olivia going though what I did.

    I make eye contact with him over the fire. His eyes are hard but thoughtful. 

    "I hope not, Rue."

    "Me too, Jaeger. Me too."

      An angel looks down on the city, standing on the edge of the new hotel. His hair is dark and wet with either blood or sweat, sticking to his forehead. A gash across an eyebrow caused the dry blood that trails down his face.

     His jaw is set hard as he watches the fire rain down upon the buildings and into the streets. The air smells like burning flesh and rancid meat. As blood-curdling screams overlap each other, his closed fists clinch aggressively. Monstrous bellows and roars come from the streets below. 

     The dark blond wings on his back sit stiffly upon his shoulders, tense. They shimmer as precious sunlight hits them for a moment. A hot, stomach-sickening breeze blows through his feathers.

     A low growl settles in his tone, dirty chest. Cuts and scratches litter his bare torso, dirt and blood smeared alone in some places, and together in others. His abdominal muscles constrict as he moves closer to the edge of the building. 

     Strange tattoos cover his neck and shoulders, even the bare skin behind his ears, black and thick. Ripped blue jeans barely hang onto his hips, nearly torn to shreds and covered in smut. His bare feet are dirty and cut up.

     Before the fire-rain reaches him, he holds his arms open wide, head up towards the black burning clouds above. His wings are spread out wide like his arms, long and strong. And he leaps off the building.

     My eyes shoot open and my heart races. I turn over and stare at the ceiling: It was all so vivid; the sounds, sights, and smells. It was like I had actually been there. Sweat is beaded on my forehead, my clothes stuck to me. My stomach had dropped when he leaped, following after him

    Find Jaeger.

    I untangle myself from the sheets and stumble out of the room and into the hallway, body sore. Bright light from giant French windows make me squint. The carpet is soft under my bare feet, and I pause for a moment to wriggle my toes in it. I swing around and look into the bedroom, Jaeger must have carried me to bed last night. Did he sleep with me too?
    My stomach clenches nervously at the thought.

    I peer over the banister and see him sitting in the living room reading a book intently. His jaw is set, like he isn't very happy about something. The page he's done with makes a dull scraping noise as he turns to the next, his eyes devouring every word on the page. I back away before I get caught staring at him and make my way to the bathroom.

    After a quick shower and a good brushing of my teeth, I try to towel dry my hair as much as possible before picking through it and using a hair dryer on it. I put my bra back on and Jaeger's shirt before snooping around the bathroom. A closet sits adjacent on the left side of the door, its sliding door slightly open.

    Without another thought, I pad quietly on the tiles to the closet and slide the door. A light switch on the right wall is flicked, and a huge walk-in closet stands before me. Towels, shampoos and conditioners, bath soaps, and clothes by the dozens. Who the monkey keeps clothes in their bathroom closet?

    I walk past shelf after shelf of soaps and towels before stopping in front of the clothes. I rifle through white undershirts and boxers before finding a pair of ladies underwear. I put them on along with a pair of white scrub-looking pants. Well, they're mine now.

    "Rue?"

    I poke my head of the door only to smack my nose into Jaeger's chest. It's bare, again, and hot, like he'd been out in the sun for a couple minutes. Just like always, his skin smells amazing, literally making me slightly drool.

    I rub my throbbing nose, "Sorry."

   "Come downstairs," he commands and opens the door all the way so I can get out, and proceeds to open the bathroom door for me, too. He hasn't been himself lately, I feel like. He's being too formal and business-like.

    When we'd first met he was always flirting with me and being a smartass. Now I feel like a burden.

    I suddenly feel really tired, even though I woke up about an hour ago. My joints creak and ache, I ironically feel like an eighty-year-old woman. I wonder how I'd sorta felt energized earlier and now suddenly feel fatigued. Could Marcus be doing this? Messing with me again?

    The first step I take down the stairs results in my knee giving out. My arm shoots out and grabs the hand railing just before Jaeger's arms wrap around my waist and haul me up, ripping my grip away from said railing. My fingers tingle from the friction and slightly throb.

    "And this is why we are going downstairs," Jaeger sighs and picks me up wedding style. 

    I feel like roadkill getting picked up and thrown off the highway; a nuisance. An inconvenience. I don't say anything to Jaeger. I don't want to piss him off. I just lay there like a tired child who's ready for bed.

    You aren't going to make him mad...

    Like you know?

    Odds are, he's not annoyed with you at all. Something else is bothering him.

    That's the most the voice has ever said to me at one time. But what did it know? Or what do I know? I shouldn't care about what Jaeger feels. I shouldn't care at all. This is just business, basically. He's helping me get my strength back so I can find Olivia. I'll start acting like him. Business-y.

    Jaeger reaches the end of the stairs and pauses for a second before continuing to walk through the living room. He goes to a section of the house I haven't been in yet and carries me into a small office-like room. A tiny bed is against the wall in one corner, machines and wires next to it. An IV bag hangs from its rod.

    "You need to start recovering. I figured I'd let you spend a night out of a hospital bed before staying in it for a couple more days," he says firmly as he lays me on the bed.

    Great. Just splendid.

    He carefully grabs my arm and pats it to make the vein come up. I wince as the needle goes into my skin. He tapes it in place and walks out of the room without saying anything else to me.

    This is when I start feeling like this is all pointless. They should've just let me die out in the forest instead of going through all this trouble of saving me. They should've just let Marcus kill me. I mean, what's one more dead girl? Nothing.

    Stop that. Right now.

    I'll think what I want. I'm tired of trying to get through this. 
    If Marcus gets you, the world will end.

    Stop being so dramatic. 
    I'm serious.

    My stomach drops instantly. My eyes flutter around the room, but hysteria is still a ways away. Panic is what comes first. Am I going crazy, or is there actually someone else in my head? Is my subconscious just trying to make me feel better or is there actually a problem with me dying?

    I sit up straight and reach for the IV--

    That's probably the dumbest thing you could do right now.

    "Why?" I say out loud. 

    The reason you are recovering is so that Marcus can't get you, and the world can be saved.
    Saved from what!

    "He can still get me!" I shout. "He can get me whenever he wants!"

    Not if you learn to--

    "Rue?" Jaeger calls from somewhere else in the house, "Who are you talking to?" Panic is in his voice too.

    Not if you learn to keep him out, Rue. You have the ability.

    "I can't," I whisper. "I'm not strong enough."

    By now I'm hugging my body, tears running down my cheeks.

    Jaeger bursts in the door, "What's going on?"

    I stare at him blankly. What is the point in him not wearing a shirt? There's no reason for him to be flaunting his tone pectoral muscles and abs... My mind draws blank just like my emotions. What the hell is going on with me?

    "Are you okay?" He wipes the tears off my cheeks and holds my face. "What happened?"

    My eyes dart around his face, taking in the scar across his eyebrow and his hard jawline. I suddenly remember the strange tattoo I saw behind his ear when we had been at the park, what feels like five years ago.

    Had I just incorporated him into the dream? Or was my dream a vision, whether past or future?

    I drop my eyes away from his face and try to pull away from him. His hands hold still on my face. His palms are warm and large.

    "Stop," I say weakly. "Just... Stop."

    His eyes search mine before his hands fall, but he continues to look at me worriedly. His chocolate brown hair is tousled in random areas, like he'd been trying to pull his hair out or something. The green in his eyes is dark, but the blue in them is bright.
    I slowly lay my head on the small pillow. "I'm just tired, is all," I whisper.
    Jaeger places two fingers on my neck and gets close to my eyes. "You need another shot." He whispers too.
    After a painful shot in the neck, my eyes start to droop and my mouth starts to yawn repeatedly. Jaeger pulls up a leather desk chair and swivels it around to sit next to me. He kisses my forehead before my eyes close completely.
    What a thrill this is, huh?